U meni jesen je i jede ćevape i pije pivo

Sjedim neki dan i razmišljam si je li mi to jedan od boljih ili gorih utoraka u životu, što me od posla čeka večeras, zašto je tako toplo u studenom, hoće li biti sutra plaća i na što sam ju već potrošio. Mozak overclockan, misli mi poprimaju izgled uvodne špice iz Matrixa preplavljene morem kombinacija i shema što i kako sutra, idući tjedan, mjesec i tako dalje…a onda je niz moje grlo potekao divan Valensov porter i i ništa više nije bilo važno. Par gutljaja kvalitetnog piva bilo je dovoljno da sve probleme i cirkuse svede na jednu točku u prostor-vremenskom kontinuumu, onu u kojoj ja sjedim na relativno neudobnoj barskoj stolici dok mi vrhunski craft redefinira moždane sinapse i liječi napaćeno tijelo i dušu. U toj situaciji ne tangiraju me ni Todorić ni Trump ni migranti ni Kolinda ni Trilateralna komisija ni vegani, a ni lik koji izigrava dupina. Mislim, za sve nabrojane me i inače baš zaboli kifla, al uz pivo još više.

Bio sam u Srbiji prošli mjesec, u Novom Sadu, i popio tamno Nikšićko. Bilo je ok, i pivo i Novi Sad. Ništa manje, ali ni više od toga. Imaju i kućicu s craft pivima, nije radila. Ne znam zašto.

Na slici, doduše, nije Srbija, nego Zeleni val, ali je dobra uvertira za sljedeći dio teksta.

Pivo ne hejta žestu, ali je bolje

Imam prijatelje koji piju gin tonic. Vole ga više od piva, a i bolje im izgleda na Instagram storyju. I to je ok. Meni osobno pivo brutalno dobro izgleda i na hrpi stajskog đubra  ako je ohlađeno i kondenzirane kapi nježno klize niz ambalažu, izazivajući isto na mojim obrazima iz smjera očiju. Volim ponekad i žestu drmnuti, ali iskreno, nikad mi se nije dogodilo da na vrući ljetni dan izađem s posla van na 38 stupnjeva i pomislim kako bi mi super sad sjeo jedan jeger ili Jack. Prvo pivo-dva-tri piva da nadođem, a onda možemo dalje sa životom. Inače, ovo je primjenjivo i za današnji datum, s obzirom da je ovo vjerojatno najtopliji studeni otkad znam za sebe.

Kad smo kod gin tonica, evo vam slika jegera.

Stiže zima. Ili ne?

Ide Božić, sezona božićnih pjesama je krenula. Trgovine su već pune božićnih pizdarija, a bliži se i advent, što će reći da će uskoro kućice, pečene kobasice i, razumije se, pivo. Većini je ipak prva asocijacija na advent kuhano vino, punč i ono neko pecivo što se vrti i posipa orasima i sličnim dodacima. Nije mi jasno što je tako dobro u tome niti znam na prvu kako se zove, a možda se ipak i ne vrti i nije pecivo. Realno, i ne zanima me, kobasica i pivo su sasvim dovoljni. Znam da sad od adventa pravim oktoberfest, no može mi se.

Zajedno se time ide i jedna pojava na koju poprijeko gledam, a to su ljudi koji zimi piju pivo iz gajbe, jer im je iz frižidera prehladno, s obzirom da je vani hladno. Logično bi bilo pretpostaviti da ti isti ljudi ljeti piju hladnu kavu, čemu piti vruću kad je vani vruće? Ne.

Samo mrzlo i nikako drugačije.

Kad si u Orašju…

…piješ Sarajevsko. Bar sam ja pio, odmah nakon što sam pojeo đuleg…đugleb…đuveg…neke plosnate ćevape na langošici. Nešto kao obični ćevapi, ali nije somun. Zato je luk i kajmak. Sarajevsko nisam pio godinama, otkad sam se zadnji put našao u Sarajevu. Tad sam pio iz limenke, a na njoj je bio oslikan dres Edina Džeke. Sad sam pio iz boce. Zapravo, iz čaše, ali pivo je došlo u boci, jel. Boca je lijepa, baš mi se dopala, a dopala mi se i vrlo ljubazna i uslužna djelatnica Arome, opuštena i spremna na zajebanciju, baš onako kako i očekuješ da bude s druge strane Save. Opći dojam, a i opći želudac, upotpunio sam dvije palačinke s orasima, čokoladom i šlagom te jednim Budweiserom na Kunjevcima, dok sam razdaljinu između dvije lokacije skratio dvjema tamnim Krušovicama, jednim tamo, drugim vamo. Umalo zaboravih, prije polaska za Orašje podmazao sam sistem s dvije velike tortilje i tamnim Osječkim. Just another day in the office, što bi se reklo.

 

Doručak je najvažniji obrok u danu  

Ali kad solidno večeraš u Orašju, ne treba se i ujutro ožderati. Jedan lagani doručak, bez nekog pretjerivanja, sasvim je dovoljan za kvalitetan ulazak u produktivan dan, stoga sam se odlučio na logičan izbor – hot dog i Valensov bitter u Podrumčiću. Zadovoljan sam.

Dobro jutro, radni narode.

Kažu da nije normalno piti pivo ujutro. Ali je normalno, recimo, piti kavu ujutro, prijepodne, u podne, rano popodne, kasnije popodne, predvečer, navečer, prije ponoći i neposredno prije spavanja. Pivo, s druge strane, nije prihvatljivo piti u 9 ujutro. Međutim,  iz nekog razloga prihvatljivo ga je piti u 4 ujutro, ali samo ako nisi spavao prije toga, tj. ako si ostao budan od prethodnog dana i ako si na nekom teritoriju koji nije tvoja kuća/stan. Ako si se, pak, probudio doma u 4 i načeo pivo, zreo si za kliniku. Pojednostavljeno, u javnosti, okružen nepoznatim ljudima, na stranom mjestu, skroz je ok u zoru udarati po svakom mogućem alkoholu. Međutim, ako načmeš pivo u to isto vrijeme doma, svoj na svom, u kontroliranim uvjetima, svježe naspavan i spreman suočiti se s novim danom, najebo si, stoko nevezana alkoholičarska.

Nemojmo biti licemjeri.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

kizivat01 Written by:

187 komentara

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    Dugo iscekivani i najavljivani,nazalost (naj)losiji dosad…ali sta je,tu je, kao sto i sam kazes necemo biti licemjerni..

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