Gorak i fin. Prvenstveno ja, a možda i pivo.

 

Onaj momenat kad ležiš u ležaljci na ugodnih 27 stupnjeva uz povjetarac koji nastaje dijelom atmosferskim kretanjem zraka, a dijelom paničnim mahanjem krila golubova koji ne skuže na prvu da s druge strane trske leži 104,5 kg mržnje prema njima. Sliku (ne stvarnu sliku, nego mentalnu) upotpunjuje degustiranje solidnog belgijskog piva (ništa novo, Leute od neki dan, u Lidlu se moglo kupiti samo na pack od četiri komada pa sad trošim, jbg). Zvučnik je u kuhinji metar dalje, dovoljno blizu da me glazba dira u najosjetljivija mjesta, a dovoljno daleko da susjedi ne zovu satniju interventne policije da prekine sav taj cirkus, a pritom i ugasi glazbu. Što bi rekla Daleka obala, osjećam se izvanredno, ja sam najbogatiji na svijetu! Do momenta kad dobijem notifikaciju od strane gmaila sa subjectom Addiko bank izvadak po računu… Ali nije sve u novcu, nešto je i u tome da možeš dan prije osude na 6 i pol godine zatvora otići u Bosnu (ili je to Hercegovina) i živjeti ko car u nekoj Villi nešto… Pitam se dobiva li Mamić na mail izvadak po računu i kako to izgleda, šta mu točno piše.  Razlika između mene i Mamića je samo u tome s koje strane iznosa idu nule, slijeva ili zdesna. Vi pogađajte kojem ide kako. U svakom slučaju, ako se ikad odlučim postati kriminalac, ništa na sitno, tu su jebene kazne. Samo visoko na ljestvici, što više milijuna zavaljam, manja je kazna. Jbg, Mamić (navodno, nepravomoćno je osuđen) nije uspio doći do Čobanković levela gdje bi dobio guljenje krumpira/ljuštenje kikirikija/nadjevanje torti za kaznu. E sad, kakve sve to veze ima s pivom? Nema, samo sipam gorčinu. A kad smo kod gorčine, to već ima veze s pivom.

 

JOŠ JEDNO RAZOČARANJ…PIVO ZA MALO NOVACA

I danas sam odlučio pružiti priliku low cost pivu koje se može naći u većim, ali i manjim trgovinama i iskreno se pitam koliko ću još strpljenja imati za ova sranja.  Zar je moguće da treće zaredom bude jednaki  shit? Kao da od tri moguće serije tri puta odaberem CSI Miami/Las Vegas/New York/Donja Motičina ili neku sličnu generičku idiotariju. Pivo koje je rađeno da zadovolji samo dva kriterija – da se može lako i brzo piti na baušteli i da sadrži nešto alkohola, jer ako drugi kriterij nije zadovoljen, džaba im prvi.  Uz dužno poštovanje časnoj bauštelskoj profesiji, mislim da zasužujete bolje.  Lišeno svakog pokušaja inovacije i hrabrosti, maksimalno se uklapa u svaki mogući stereotip.

Zove se Hollandia (ABV 5%) i obični je, razvodnjeni, bezukusni svijetli  lager koji  ni po čemu ne odskače od npr. nedavno spomenute daruvarske Desetke ili Ožujskog.  Ne znam jeste primijetili, ali ovakve isprike za pivo uvijek na sebi imaju oznake tipa Premium, Quality Beer i slične laži. I, budimo realni, ukusi jesu različiti, ali to što na svijetu postoje ljudi koji vole doslovno staviti govno u usta neće me uvjeriti da je to govno fino i da je moje nepce samo drukčije podešeno. Ista stvar kao i zadnji put, ako nemate love, a želite se razbiti i pritom vam je svejedno čime, preporuka. Za sve ostale, izbjegavati u širokom luku.

Ali ne gubite nadu (rekoh sam sebi, persirajući), ima i u ovoj kategoriji neke kvalitete i samo je pitanje vremena kad će doći na red. Bit će, dat će Bog.

 

Mnogo sam se nasekirao.

 

 

OVAKO SE TO RADI

Želiš napraviti svijetli lager, ali ne želiš da se tamo neki Josip po istome izasere probavnim ostacima prošaranim razgrađenom Desetkom i Hollandijom? Koliko teško to može biti? Pa, ne mora uopće. Daj mu šarm, daj mu boju, daj mu okus. Najvažnije od svega, daj mu gorčinu i autoritet. Sa zadovoljstvom predstavljam The Crafty Brewing Company Irish Lager (ABV 5%). Volio sam ga čim su nam se usne dotaknule neki dan, a volim ga i sada dok gledam u bocu punu uspomena, slušam My Heart Will Go On i plačem. I priznajem da sam u ovoj priči ja žena, a ovaj Irish Lager je ono pravo muževno gorak. Sve je rečeno, Irci znaju posao. Boja je fantastična, gorčina upotpunjuje okus. Ništa tu nije zbrzano i populistički napravljeno. Svečano prisežem da je ovo najbolji lager koji sam ikad probao i zahvaljujem Lidlu što mi je proširio horizonte zadnjih dana (ako netko zna nekog odande, neka mu pošalje link Rute, koliko ih hvalim, ne bih se bunio da mi pošalju jedan pack craftova doma čisto iz dobre volje, a i zato što ću ovaj mjesec većinom jesti rižu zbog troškova uzrokovanih njihovom craft akcijom. P.S. Mama,ako ovo čitaš, imam još nešto piletine u zamrzivaču, ne treba ništa slati. Zasad.).

 

Well, hello…

 

PROTEINSKO PIVO

Pivovara Daruvar, da ne ispadne da samo kenjam po njima, izbacila je na tržište proteinsko pivo. U svijetu ovo nije presedan, ima već sličnih primjera. Ipak, čekam priliku da se okušam s ovim proizvodom. A akobogda, ovih dana ću se konzultirati sa stručnim licem koje će mi reći mogu li whey protein zamijeniti ovom pivčugom poslije treninga te trebam li i uz to uzeti dekstrozu. E to bi već bio posao i oprostio bih im svaku Desetku ikad koju ubuduće vidim na polici u trgovini. Neću staviti sliku jer autorska prava su bitch ovih dana u digitalnom svijetu. Di su stara vremena…

kizivat01 Written by:

53 komentara

  1. Nonickname
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    Reply

    Je l pivo vegansko? #heh

    • kizivat01
      lipanj 8, 2018
      Reply

      Većinom 🙂

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